When she was three, Ruby learned that was born in the Chinese Year of the Dragon. She would go around making Dragon noises, having found a Voice for the rage and wildness she sometimes felt inside. She lived in the countryside with her mom and her baby brother, and would spend her days in nature, playing with the fairies and speaking with the trees. Her father would visit at the weekends, but he still lived in London, where she was born.
Growing up with no religion, there was no God. And since her mother, the Goddess, had been deeply wounded by her own confusing and unstable childhood, she soon learned how to look after herself.
When she was seven her mom met an Indian Guru named Shayam Singha, who said you could heal all ailments with food. He became their God, and they would spend weekends at his retreat center in the woods, where she and her brother would sneak into the meditation room to roll around among the cushions. But she was very afraid of Shayam, who was fierce and strict and who didn’t like children much. So she stayed quiet and kept out of his way, spending more and more time with her head in a book. Reading became a safe place, and stories a way to have conversations in her head that she didn’t know how to have in the world.
Her parents divorced when she was nine, and they moved back to London. Her father already had another girlfriend, who would take her shopping at all the fancy stores. At her new school, the popular kids made her feel even more awkward and shy than Shayam, but wearing the right clothes was a way to make friends. She decided she wanted to work in fashion one day. At age 12, she made a magazine about Marilyn Monroe, who was rich, and beautiful, and adored, but who didn’t feel that way on the inside. It was the first time she found a Voice with her writing to explore how she felt, too.
When she discovered alcohol and drugs in her mid-teens, she found a way to act like the person the world wanted her to be. Fun, and sexy, and outgoing. Dancing on ecstasy, she also felt a connection with the Universe that she hadn’t known existed. She had been taught nothing of a Higher Power, but now she had felt it in her body, the intelligence that connected her to each and every other being.
But as she began to open herself up, and trust for the first time that the existence of this Higher Power meant she would be Divinely taken care of, always, another fierce, strict man, came into her life. At age 16, she entered a six-year relationship that would take her to her darkest depths. Emotionally and sexually abused, drugs became another place to hide. She deserted her family and friends, and developed an eating disorder, trying to make herself so small that nobody would see her shame. This was her Dark Night of the Soul, and it was finding her Voice studying journalism at college, that finally gave her the courage to walk away.
She emerged like a butterfly at age 22, and began a career in magazines. She quickly met the love of her life, got married, and bought a home. She worked for all the big titles, interviewed tons of celebs, and it was all glitzy, polished, fabulous. But alcohol became her trusted side-kick, since there were parts of her that had not healed. And over the years, those parts became weaker and weaker, and one day she woke up feeling broken. She knew that to truly heal it was time to reconnect to the Higher Power.
Astrology became her bridge back to the Mystical world, and by 2012 she had decided to create The Numinous, a platform that would merge her magazine career and her Mystical studies. She moved to New York, and coined the term “Now Age” to describe the new world she was imagining, where all things esoteric were made sexy and super relevant to modern life.
Embracing these practices and tools for herself, from the Tarot and Shamanism, to meditation, ritual and energy healing, she embarked on her own journey of transformation and personal discovery. She learned how to listen to her intuition. She got familiar with the wounds of her ancestral lineage, and healed her relationship with her mom. She met her Spirit animals, and began to see her writing as her Art.
This path also led to her becoming “sober curious,” as she no longer needed alcohol to numb her pain or to help her use her Voice, and she created an event series called Club SÖDA NYC to give others a space to investigate their own relationship with substances.
She was able to share the teachings of this journey in her book, Material Girl, Mystical World: The Now Age Guide to a High Vibe Life, and more intimately with the Moon Club community. Sharing her story has helped her to acknowledge, accept and forgive her whole self, and now she is committed to helping others find a Voice of their own.